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FrLetter to Jacques Perrin
By Thierry Machado, AFC
It is hard to summarize thirty-five years of conversations in just a few lines. What I know is that you had a special relationship with each of us; that was your strength. You were able to raise an army of filmmakers to conquer your follies, you were able to make us believe that nothing was as important as the cinema and that only poetry gave meaning to life.
You hated to hear people say “I”; for you, there was only “we”, always and above all the group.
Should I write here about your charm? Your hardly-whispered words, your kind glances? Your silences?
Or should I take a penknife to this image, which is too perfect to be true, and admit to our disagreements, our misunderstandings, and how fed up we sometimes got with one another? How I’d want tell you to buzz off before you would tell me the same? And you often did!
Yes, you were all that, at ease in your contradictions. But that’s why I loved you so much.
We were never your sons, but we were your traveling companions, your comrades, on whom you could always count. And, thanks to you, Jacques, yes, thanks to you, we experienced the marvelous, the marvelous that gives you the desire to take someone in your arms and say thank you. Thank you for everything, for nothing, for so little…
Thank you, Jacques, you can see I’m bawling as I write these words, I’m bawling with rage, sadness and joy. We were so fucking lucky to have met you, to have been able to fight alongside you to create such a particular cinema, for cinema in general. I can still hear producers saying to me “You’re not working for Perrin now!” No, and that’s why I was often so unhappy elsewhere.
You’ve left a lot of sadness behind you, but your exit was a success, accompanied by the slow pace of the legion and the navy. What an ending!
You liked to say that a film was a promise… I’m going to make you a promise here… No! (I can already hear you grumbling)… We will all make you a promise, the promise to carry on. And we’ll keep your “breath” going to the utmost of our ability, in the hopes that others will take on our breathing.
You see, I had to speak about you. I probably wasn’t successful, but you will always be in all of my images… As you will always be present in each of US.
I’m not in a rush to join you, so I won’t say “see you soon”.
But I promise I’ll bring the Caméflex with me. You left it behind!!!
Thierry
(Translated from French by A. Baron-Raiffe)
The thumbnail image at the top of this article shows Jacques Perrin, left, Thierry Machado, center, and Vincent Blasco on a shoot in Iceland - Photo by Mathieu Simonet
